Written By Utkarsh Chawra (Grade 10)
99 out of the 100 things that happen to us are out of our control. The 1 thing we can control is our mind and doing that will solve 99% of your problems.
We blame our society, our disabilities, our capabilities, our inadequacies, our past… etc for the problems that require solutions. As long as these factors mentioned above might have been the actual reason for your problems, pressing on them and making it seem like the problem is unsolvable because of them DOES NOT solve the problem at hand.
Why is victimising yourself the most detrimental thing for you?
Ever wonder why you need constant reminders to do hard things but only ONE impulsive thought to start indulging in easy and harmful endeavours which lead to slow or immediate problems?
Victimhood’s indirect and hidden sole motive is to set into a mindset that because of your past, inabilities, and inadequacies, you are limited and are “not allowed” to achieve bigger things in life.
Human beings are evolved and are built for problem-solving. With the absence of problem-solving scenarios in life, people become lonely, depressed, sad, etc. This is another reason why believing in victimhood is detrimental. Instead of asking “What is the solution to this problem?” we ask ourselves “Who do you blame?”.
Another reason is that it promotes the mentality that you are special. Everyone caters to your needs and wants and everyone ought to care about your problems. But the reality is every single person who has ever lived, is living, and will live, will have their own different set of problems. Everyone is special but in the sense that we all deal with different sets of problems. A great human life led by a person is determined by how s/he deals with their special set of problems that come up.
It is important to know your past, inabilities, capabilities inadequacies, etc but more importantly to make sure that you don’t use it as an excuse. It is more so that all these have the potential to either ruin you or motivate you to become better. Hence, it is about perspective.
Difference between victim blaming and victimhood
I am not blaming you completely for the problems that you face but simply pointing out that if you want to come up being successful, gain respect and honour for yourself, a victim mentality isn’t your best bet.
Going against victimhood, I am trying to promote personal responsibility/control/accountability for oneself which leads to better life choices, being goal-oriented, etc.
Being weak is not the problem, staying weak is. The number one way to relieve yourself from this daily blame game is to finally blame yourself constructively and find solutions rather than people to blame.
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