Written By Utkarsh Chawra (Grade 10)
Illusions like ego, attitude and the wrong sense of self-righteousness cause social barriers like ignorance, arrogance, and close-mindedness.
We proceed in our lives by living by our mental illusions and arranging for basic necessities to be alive. Both could be interdependent but for the most part, adjustments can be made only if you divorce these mental illusions from arranging for basic necessities to be alive.
Adjustments are a battle of egos that occur very frequently among us. We live in a congested world where everyone wants satisfaction and comfort at the finest level possible and where one person’s comfort is another person’s desire. This is a never-ending circle.
Adjustments are the least talked about principle/rule of life which is essential and can help pave your path in an easier way. Adjustments are seen as a compromise to satisfy the other individual’s ego or seen as something that would allegedly dent your self-esteem, which is not entirely the case.
Adjustments, not always but in many cases can help you build a good relationship with as many people as possible. Many people might take the wrong idea and start taking advantage of you and your situation and walk over you whenever needed, you wouldn’t want that either. Although it depends on your tolerance level, and the way you perceive things.
What is the stoic way of adjusting?
Stoics believe that reacting or acting too emotionally over petty things or for this matter, anything is not of any use. And I believe that everything that is going on around us, is only going to affect you through the way you perceive it. Hence it all depends on your mental process of processing the events that occur around you.
Stoicism is a big win when it comes to contentment during petty situations and pretty much everything. It saves you from things that can trigger unwanted mental health-related issues that completely depend on how u perceive things.
Not everyone can adapt to stoicism, it’s possible that you can’t either. Nonetheless, it requires only bits and pieces of it in order to utilize it while trying to adjust to the situation.
Adjustments give you mental leverage over the person who is lost in their deranged sense of thought that they are the one who is at the top here. While the case is that superiority and inferiority is a social construct and a mental illusionistic term.
How is adjusting during a situation such as conflicts/arguments useful?
Adjusting to people reduces drastic chances of conflicts. Two angry people who take decisions at the whim of their minds and who have no control over them are the last thing and the least favourite thing you would want at any given time of your life.
Quarrels need to be worded the right way or they have the capacity to branch out to unwanted territories which can get dirty and contain personally attacking statements. To be in the right state of mind or even to still have that connection between your mind and your tongue at such times becomes tough. Stoicism helps you avoid these sticky situations which unnecessarily take a toll on your mental health and diverts you from doing what was or is more important.
Many yet times, staying quiet or saying the bare minimum during fights is considered an “inferior” quality while “coming back” or exchanging unrefined words is the new norm. All this depends on the mentality of how you perceive and value such social constructs and trends.
This is where stoicism comes in again. During such unwanted quarrels, it allows you to not pay attention to the intentions of the person trying to hurt you or get you to start talking and stoop to their level.
All in all, it’s been a tough read but let me clear it for you that stoicism is being absolutely emotionless and being like a stone with biological characteristics whilst carrying functions of a human being excluding feelings.
By stoicism here, I mean to not emotionally attach yourself to petty things and things that seem to be a big deal.
Finally, to conclude, is all this applicable to everyone? Is it necessary to utilize this method everywhere? Is this adaptable to one and all? Is it relatable to all? Do many people agree with this kind of solution?
No is the answer to all the above questions, as I myself come from a very different background and differing experiences. This has been one of the moral codes I have successfully developed in myself and has helped me in building an identity I would carry forward.
This was my theory of how making adjustments as we move forward and more importantly with more and more people, we meet is not something that we should look down upon and rather embrace.
Featured Image Courtesy – Daily Stoic